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About Cleopatra

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  1. I heard nothing as well. I had passed last year Spring time. They just sent me my certificate by post. I would like to attend this year
  2. @ magic_mush, at least I go not have double standards. I have not done anything wrong by standing up for myself. I wish you good luck too.
  3. @nicedoctor, I have tremendous respect for non training doctors. Some 'secure' consultants too have respect for non training doctors. But some consultants are too arrogant and treat non training doctors like they are trash. Such people are insecure, don't worry about them
  4. @rdgupta, I think we need more consultants like you.
  5. @ wetrain, I remember those 'arguements' with you. It takes 2 to clap anyways. By the way, I am happy that you are not hiding behind a new avatar, hats off to u for that. And thanks for those wishes
  6. @magic_mush, I am glad that despite me saying that let's end the topic, people are still writing. I do NOT care, if anybody identifies me because I have said all this to the TPD myself. From my side, I have not given out any names or deanery names. So you cool it and we cannot choose our placements, especially in the first year
  7. Thanks to everybody. But I cannot divulge any details due to confidentiality issued. I would wish to end this topic here as they there is point in talking about this anymore , thanks again to all
  8. Thanks to all of you all for your kind help and support. It was very much appreciated. I met up with TPD and I do not think that change of placement will happen. Prior to this meeting, my consultant asked me if I had any difficulties. I kind of came out with it although it was extremely awkward. The TPD was saying that Spr training is 'very different' compared to my previous experience in London where I had worked as a staff grade. And that this training is 'going to be tougher'. She seems to be having an antipathy towards non training posts and constantly keeps saying that my past experience 'will not count' in this job. To some extent, I agree with what she is saying but in my personal experience I have seen that some staff grade doctors are superb with rock steady confidence levels and some consultants 'jittery' and rubbish with over defensive practice. My life as a trainee here is shocking. I work like a dog and then they have been saying to me that my 'time management' has been an issue. I leave home at 7.30 am to reach 'on the dot' at 9 because otherwise Chinese whispers start floating around. This place being an all women place (except 1 man), what better could have been expected ? I have now, for the past 2 weeks getting the secretaries to log in my time of arrival and have been keeping a log of arrival. This feels petty but I need to do all this because people here are even more pettier. Since the time, I joined I have been taking 10 minutes lunch break (just to go out and grab a sandwich) and for 2-3 times per day, I take 3 minutes tea break. Apart from that, I have been working non stop. Everyday, I have been sitting late until 6 pm, many times until 6.30 pm, sometimes 7 pm and rarely even 7.30 pm. I EAT, SLEEP and DRINK CAMHS. I never knew that CAMHS was such a COMPLICATED subject on this planet. Work life balance sucks here. My poor husband is putting up with me. Basically, patientswise this place is not busy, but there are meetings after meetings and discusssions after discussions which go around in circles. Then there are all the mandatory courses and conferences and medical students teaching sessions, 1 day per week for research etc etc etc. I made a pie chart and saw that the clinical time that I get after all that, is 40% and hence 'time management' is a problem. But if I sit late, then they blame me. Other Spr trainee also leaves after 6.30 pm and comes in at 7.30 am. But for some trainees, it is a case of Martin Seligman's 'learned helplessness'. I am happy to stay late and moan but will not accept that 'time management' is a problem with me. It never has been. Never ever in my life. In London it was commonplace for doctors to arrive at 9,30 am and leave at 4.45 pm. I was not very different and yet time management was NEVER an issue. Basically the problem lies with them and their admin staff. I have basically become Spr + secretary since I joined in Aug 2011. I book my own appointments, chase families, book rooms, manage my own diary, chase physical files (yes it is like eighties' style here, there are no electronic notes yet) and write notes after each time social worker or school calls me up. The 'admin staff' do not even do our filing. I have to then go down and pull out each and every file and then put the file back after filing the papers and then I get constantly pulled into doing joint assessments. My consultant and TPD said that they are concerned that if I am struggling so much now, what will happen when I become a consultant, when my work load will increase with more committments. My CAMHS consultant in London had a 'cool as a cucumber attitude' towards CAMHS. Thanks to him, I feel the same about CAMHS. He used to keep our whole CAMHS team in London 'contained' unlike my team members here who press the panic button each time there is a patient on the liaison side . 2 people sit and do joint assessments and there is so much overinvolvement and over enmeshment that I simply cannot cope. It simply feels too intense without any good reason. Life has been very difficult for me and I hope to somehow get on with it, in the next 6 months but if they talk about 'time management', being AN ISSUE with me, I am not going to keep quiet. Thanks to all
  9. @ Cage, I take your point but I have been here long enough to know that doctors are not a 'superior breed'. But nevertheless experienced people should also not be considered 'superior' either and that nurse is a bully anyway. I talk to everybody with respect - from medical students, to secretaries to cleaners in the department, But these people in my department have double standards. If there should be no differnce between a doctor and a nurse, then why such a big cliff between the Spr and the consultant ? It is all about heirarchy here. It was such a work culture shock for me, coming from London. But I still take your point and thanks for your help
  10. @Sure, Thanks for your kind remarks when we are discussing such a sensitive issue. I wonder if you had been one of my 'victims' in one of your previous avtaars. You would have been, if your previous posts too had a similar flavour as this post of yours. I cannot specifically remember 'easily getting arguments' . Are you talking about the usual, petty bantering that we all sometimes get into ? It is not personal or malicious. After all, SEC is 'the' place that we all can voacalise wthout disclosing our identity (like we both are doing now). I am not sure if there are any more Cleos or Cleopatras, but I have not changed my avtaar for 'SURE' (pun intended). If you cannot be helpful, atleast stay neutral. I have usually found some very helpful people and well wishers on this forum. Thanks to all of you for being helpful even though you don't know me personally
  11. @rantdoc, yes it feels like bullying to me. Thanks Sagi, flakjak for your support. @ Joshua - thanks for your advice, Just like you said, more than 5 years ago, when I was bullied by a consultant, I just accepted it lying down as I was too scared then. He had a pattern of bullying ! Looking back now, I should have doen something about it.
  12. Thank you Cage. We do not have a separate educational supervisor. My consultant is my educational supervisor. She is aware that I had spoken to TPD earlier on and I think that did not help either. The TPD is based in the same place where I work and is quite close to my consultant hence my hesitation in meeting the TPD again. I do not think that the criticism I get is constructive. It feels like a 'fault finding exercise'. I get 3 and 4 in the WPBA with the overall rating of 4. There has been no improvement in my WPBA scores since when I joined. I have been told I 'might not achieve competencies'. I think this has become quite personal now. I never felt supported or trusted by her. She had joined 3 weeks late in Aug during which time one of the nurses In the department was ordering me around, commenting on my 'long skirt' and my 'peep toes' and basically talking to me like I was dirt. On one occasion, that nurse demanded that I instantly come along with her (when i was in the middle of dictating a letter, demanding that i stop dictating as this was an 'emergency') to assess an adolescent boy on one of the wards as he wanted to leave the ward and we were anticipating a possible sectioning. I stopped my dictation and went with her. We went in jointly and she started the interview as it was 'her case as she had picked his case up' . As the boy was not engaging well with her, I stepped in and started asking him questions. At this point she asked me to leave the room in a very commanding and a rather rude way saying that she would want to try and see if he engages with her. Finally the boy came out running after about 20 minutes. I then engaged with him on the corridor and took him to the room. By then the police had arrived . I think were called by the paeds ward. We both engaged with the boy and he agreed to came in informally. At this point the nurse asked me 'hopefully i had not given the boy any 'false promises' about the anticipated length of the admission etc, for him to so quickly agree to come in informally. During this episode, my consultant was still on leave and when she returned from leave, she asked me how I was getting on. I then I mentioned to her about this episode,, and she suddenly got ultra defensive about the nurse. She said 'I just cannot believe what you are saying. I have known her for 8 years. It is about learning to get on with people. Do you think you could have contributed to it any way ? When I said no, she said 'come on, there must have been something, it takes two to tango' . You have no idea how competent she is. You should learn something from people like her. You should not think you are a doctor and she is a nurse.'. My consultant did not trust me even one bit here. I think this episode triggered it all as the particular nurse in question is my consultant's favourite. I have no doubts about my competencies having worked for 2 years in a very busy setting in the same speciality in London with very good references. My consultant has not had any problems with previous trainees either. So it is a very tricky situation.
  13. @drsuman, I don't think I will be able to speak to my educational supervisor. It will be too much for me. Some people are advising me to 'just keep quiet' about this issue but I find it very stressful to just leave things as they are
  14. @drsuman, I don't think I will be able to speak to my educational supervisor. It will be too much for me. Some people are advising me to 'just keep quiet' about this issue but I find it very stressful to just leave things as they are
  15. Thanks Kreely for your advice but I do not have a mentor. I feel hyper criticised and picked on for small things. Supervision sessions and WPBA sessions are particularly stressful. It feels very tense in general. It is certainly affecting my emotional well being and so also my training.