Pregnant women only seen by midwives ??

[rajeevkrishnadas 19]

I have a couple of queries...

1. Not that I am dissatisfied with the services... (our midwife is a gem of a person)

My wife's EDD is the 30th of May... (2 weeks to go and we are all excited and anxious)

But she has never been seen by a gynaecologist... I did ask my colleagues about that... They said that is the normal way... if they ask us to meet a gynaecologist, that means there is something wrong..

I wanted to know what other people's experiences are...

2. What kind of support is available for people who dont have any relatives supporting them... obviously this is our first baby... we are going for the classes et al... other than that, is there any neonatal classes after the baby comes...

3. How much paternity leave are we entitled to??? and when do we have to take it???

Thanks a lot....

[sands73 59]

hi dorian

1. Yes, that's the way- u don't see an obstetrician unless there is a complication- like gestational diabetes, pre eclampsia etc etc- u just see a midwife- throughout pregnancy, labour, and post delivery- an SHO or a middle grade may come and stitch the episiotomy wound

2. Neonatal classes? I have no idea- do u think u will have the time to attend such classes? U will be trying to catch up with  some sleep- if possible . But the midwife should be able to tell u if such classes r available. I think there is a breast feeding mum's group or something- I am not sure

3. 2 weeks paternity leave- which u can take in the first 2 months after delivery(certainly not before delivery)- but from my experience- u r better off taking it straight away. U need to inform the HR dept, in fact u should have done it by now. There is a form for paternity leave .

available with ur HR dept- fill it- attach a maternity certificate from the midwife- which shows the EDD, and disappear as soon as the baby is born.

Good luck dorian

[rajaraja 6]

dorian, u can use this form when applying for paternity leave. That is exactly what I used

http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/forms/sc3.pdf

[rajeevkrishnadas 19]

Thanks a lot sands, raja and godzilla....

[manjupanatt 2]

hello,

i am working in ireland and we had our baby here. the gynaecologist had seen her at around booking in period and around 3rd trimester and near date of delivery.  we were not sure of the LMP. but other than that we had no complications.  

we were offered a midwife led clinic and a doctor led clinic.  we opted for the doctor led one.  if you opt for that you may not get a private room.  but i suppose you would have to do with that only for a few days of your life.  

i would not be very sure of the midwifes though i agree most of them are very good.   you might revise on your uterine tocography values, something like the labour curve and talk to one of your OBG colleagues.  because sometimes the midwives also get confused with these values.  you might need to remind them is that entirely normal?

the good thing to remember during the period is that

almost 90% deliveries are normal and our ancestors gave birth even without medical help.  i suppose clean cord, clean knife and clean surface are the only basic necessities.  apart from that all is in god's hands.

anyway glad to know that you are becoming a father

sleepless nights on the way......... :)

and post delivery a midwife would call you everyday for the first 4 days and then on alternate days till the first fortnight.  i would be a lot of help. she would advice you on different ways of feeding the baby and you might be surprised that there are 2 to 4 ways of feeding the baby. she will teach you that and help you with that

it would not be a bad idea to get help from some of your friends or relatives or you will be like sleep walking round the clock.

and make sure you have the cot ready when the midwife visits you at home.  because no matter whatever happens at night - i mean whether the baby lies on the cot or not- the cot should be assembled and ready or you are not a good enough father - in their eyes

[manjupanatt 2]

and keep us posted

[petros 1]

well....

the private room is also important...

you may want to check this once you get there....it may cost you (not very expensive), but will give all three of you peace of mind....

Check with the midwives once you get to the labour ward...!

Good luck

[rajaraja 6]

Thanks a lot sands, raja and godzilla....

u r welcome dorian

[rajeevkrishnadas 19]

Thanks a lot mnc... but i didnt know there was an option of a doctor led clinic at all here...

anyway... thank God, as of now, everything has been fine... she (the wife) has been amazing thru the pregnancy and good for me, other than some morning sickness in the second week, no complaints...

One good thing for me is that I stay in the hospital accomodation.... so the maternity unit is just across the car park... so I may have the option of coming back home faster (hopefully)...

I plan to take a tour of the hospital next week with the wife...

I will definitely keep you posted...

We have selected a couple of names for boys and girls... if we dont agree with a name... I have decided to go for a superego poll.....

[EmulousHeathen 0]

The national childbirth trust will probably have a local group in your area. It is a chance to meet other new parents and get some support from then. I believe they also provide help and advice on things like breastfeeding. For more info go to www.nct.org.uk.

And congratulations! Exciting times ahead!

[Magna 0]

Exciting stuff indeed, feel a bt jealous. Best of luck!!

[Guest K]

dear doriannevergreys

congratulations and i hope and pray that little one comes in this world with good health.

just that i have a friend.his wife had absolutely fine pregnancy with regular midwives visits.

two days before the due date she had labour pains in the morning.they went to the hospital with the anticipation of the birth.u/s showed no heart beats.she later on ended up with renal shut down,dic and c/section afgter 12 hours showed a concealed abruption.

please,please atleast arrange one visit to the obstetrician before the big day.

i thought a lot before posting this but then decided to write it.i hope you understand.

[rajeevkrishnadas 19]

Thanks a lot guys...

heathen, magna, lad...

I understand what you are saying lad... I am sorry to hear about your friend... I hope she is fine now...

We are careful...

and hoping for everything to go on fine...

[doc 0]

All the best Dorrian,

You are one hell of a lucky guy.

[rajeevkrishnadas 19]

All the best Dorrian,

You are one hell of a lucky guy.

thanks a lot doc...

[justme 0]

Congrats Dorianne!

We had our 2nd baby last year. 1st was born London & the 2nd in Essex. We did not get to see a Dr. throughout as there were no complications, thank God.

A few things to note:

1. Some hospitals offer the option of using a side room for a small fee.

2. I found the mid-wives to be excellent, but I agree with an earlier post that you might want to refresh your CTG knowledge. And if at any point you are not comfortable, ask for a Dr.

3. I politely declined to have any student midwives involved with the actual labour and delivery.

4. You will be so overwhelmed emotionally that you'll almost forget your carefully packed camcorder and camera! Remind yourself to actually use them!

5. There are indeed no post-natal classes, but try to get hold of a copy of the book 'What to expect during the first year'. Brilliant book! It gives a month by month explanation of what to look out for, with real Q & A's by new parents. I found that all the objectivity of my medical knowledge seemed to desert me when it came to my own babies, so it was really good to have that book handy as a reference and quite reassuring.

6. You'll have a midwife visiting your home for the first few days and a health visitor after that. Again, quite heplful, and excellent with tips on things like breast feeding, room temperature, etc. I swallowed all my 'doctor's pride' and asked loads!

7. If possible have a talk with your wife about both of you adjusting to having a child. A lot of men feel a bit left out and emotionally neglected, and a lot of new mothers do unintentionally pour so much into their babies that thier husbands are rather left out. You might need to give that allowance for up to the first 3 months, then aim to get more time together for just both of you, perhaps by getting a baby sitter and going out together as a couple once every month.

8. When people offer to help, let them! Be it washing the dishes or going to the shops for you, or to wash your car, whatever.

Last, but not least, ENJOY every phase/ stage of your relationship -before children and after children.

Congrats again, and keep us informed, let us know of the good news.

Justme

[rajeevkrishnadas 19]

Just me... Thanks a lot just me for the advice... where do I get the book called 'What to expect during the first year'???? is it available thru NHS or do I have to buy it from amazon???

Now that there is going to be competition, I guess i will have to take out my attention seeking strategies...

cheers

[addict 13]

Hi Dorian we had our first baby recently. My wife was an SHO in obs & gynae so she was very privleged and very well looked after by her dpartment including consultant. She had a C section out of hours and she had arranged with her own very experienced supervising consultant who came and did the operation even when that consultant was not on-call.

But our lives have changed since my son has been born. It can be stressful esp if going without proper 8 hours sleep at night is not ur thing. They start sleeping properly only after they have gone past 4 months but at the end of the day its all worth it. wanted to write so much more but my son jst woke up. Good luck.

[freud 0]

Dorrian there are something which you have to spend money on You could try reclaiming it from your study budget

Its important that you buy a baby cot, blankets, clothes, socks etc for the baby? Have you been to the toys r us shop where u will get all what u want.

Wish you luck

[rajeevkrishnadas 19]

Thanks a lot addict and freud..

We have bought some stuff... not yet got any toys et al... dont know what kind of toys i will have to buy... depends on if its a boy or girl...

[docsanju2003 0]

Don't forget the camera, handy cam and last but not the least flowers and chocolates for your wife and midwives :

[justme 0]

Just me... Thanks a lot just me for the advice... where do I get the book called 'What to expect during the first year'???? is it available thru NHS or do I have to buy it from amazon???

Now that there is going to be competition, I guess i will have to take out my attention seeking strategies...

cheers

What to Expect the First Year (What to Expect) (Paperback)

by Arlene Eisenberg (Author), Heidi E. Murkoff (Author), Sandee E. Hathaway (Author)

(24 customer reviews)

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RRP: £14.99

Price: £8.98 & eligible for Free UK delivery on orders over £15 with Super Saver Delivery. See details and conditions

You Save: £6.01 (40%)

Availability: In stock. Dispatched from and sold by Amazon.co.uk.

You shd be able to get a copy from amazon, Dorianne.

[rajeevkrishnadas 19]

Cheers sandoc...

I have kept my camera charged... I have to charge my handycam..

Cheers justme...

[rajeevkrishnadas 19]

Guys... my wife delivered today...

3.5 kg boy....

We have decided to call him Shiva...

Thanks for all the wishes...

[manjupanatt 2]

congrats....

you are a father.....

i am so happy for you